When you feel embarrassed about something, you likely feel ashamed or self-conscious about what you were doing. It's usually a feeling you experience due to someone pointing it out or reacting in a certain way that causes you to feel embarrassed.
You may feel it on your own if there is an incident in public that you know shouldn't occur. It's not fun to have this feeling, and it makes you feel uncomfortable until the moment is over, which is why below, you'll learn how to overcome embarrassment.
How to Overcome Embarrassment
Overcoming embarrassment isn't as difficult as you may think. You just need to practice and be aware of your feelings and reactions to be more in control of them.
1. Write down ideas that might embarrass you.
Think of as many things as you can that you know they would embarrass you. Be as detailed as you'd like to be, and think of different situations you could be in. Getting all of those possibilities out of your mind and onto paper will help because you will be able to grasp them better.
If you don't set aside time to purposefully think of these situations, you may not even know they would embarrass you, so when the time comes, and they happen, you're not prepared. However, now that you know what situations would embarrass you, you'll be able to have things under control.
2. Start doing them.
Practice some of these situations. Create the circumstances for them to happen when you're by yourself and not with your friends, so if you feel embarrassed, it's due to your own feelings and not because someone else made you feel that way.
For example, practice going to a bar alone and approaching someone you like to see what happens. If they turn you down, that's it, it's over. You don't have to join your friend group and listen to bug you about it.
3. Notice your reaction.
It's very important to be as observant as possible, especially with how you feel. Be aware of how you would like to react or how you react, and analyze what that means. If it's a negative reaction mixed with embarrassment, just keep practicing until it stops happening. You don't have to practice the things that embarrass you with other people, although it is more beneficial.
You can also practice on your own in the mirror just to get the hang of it. If you have a friend you trust, you can also ask them to role-play the situations with you so you can get a sense of how certain things may make you feel.
4. Repeat.
Don't stop practicing and exploring where your feelings of embarrassment come from just because you were successful once. Continue to repeat the situations that embarrass you until they no longer embarrass you.
5. Finalize.
You'll be done with this process once you've noticed that after so many times of doing the things that embarrass you, you're not bothered by them at all. It's normal for new things to embarrass you or for something you didn't think of coming along. Don't panic and don't stress about it. Just take the same approach until you've defeated that feeling of embarrassment.
Additional things to help you overcome embarrassment.
- Make a joke out of the situation. Instead of taking things too seriously, make a joke out of the situation. Laugh at yourself, laugh with whoever may be laughing at you, and suddenly it won't seem as bad. We often take things too seriously, which makes the embarrassment worse.
- Brush it off and pretend nothing happened. This is also better than taking things too seriously. Instead of doing that and hanging onto any uncomfortable feeling, you may have, just let it go and pretend nothing happened. The more attention you give to something, the more attention others will give it.
- Talk to someone about it. Sometimes all you need is to share what caused that feeling of embarrassment so that you can get it out of your system. Perhaps you share what happened with a close friend, who has advice for you, or they help you laugh at yourself.
Benefits of Overcoming Embarrassment
Listed below are some of the most important benefits you'll notice when you overcome embarrassment.
- You'll feel better about yourself. You won't be so self-conscious about making bold decisions because you know that you can overcome any embarrassing situation.
- You'll feel more confident. If you don't worry about feeling embarrassed about things, you'll feel more confident and like anything is possible.
- You'll want to put yourself out there more. All these positive feelings due to successfully overcoming embarrassment will make you want to put yourself out there more. You know that if you fall, you can get back up, and nothing can hold you back.
Common Embarrassment Scenarios
Everyone experiences that feeling of embarrassment; although it's not enjoyable, it's normal. Below read some of the common embarrassment scenarios most people face.
Asking for a girl's phone number.
This could be embarrassing if the girl doesn't want to give you her number or if she gives you the wrong number on purpose. It could be embarrassing because your friends might make fun of you for not being able to get her number, which might make you feel self-conscious as to why you weren't able to do so.
Asking someone out on a date.
Similar to asking for a girl's phone number, it could be embarrassing if you are rejected while asking someone out on a date. It's something no one wants to happen to them, and people often hesitate when asking someone out for this very reason. They don't want to feel embarrassed after working up the courage to ask someone out.
Calling your date by the wrong name.
This could be extremely embarrassing, especially if you've been going out with this person for some time and they know some of the girls you've dated or been in relationships with. The best thing you can do is apologize and try to remedy the situation as best you can.
Talking to guys.
Talking to guys can be embarrassing because you don't know what to expect, if they'll want to talk to you too, among other things. It can feel daunting, and you might even feel like it's hard to approach them. If this is the case and you try approaching a guy, and it doesn't go well, it's understandable that you feel embarrassed.
Connecting with a chat line caller you know.
This is unlikely, but it's possible, especially if you're connecting with local callers. It would be embarrassing if you tried to keep this a secret, but you could probably play it off and not let them know you know them if you really wanted.
The nice thing about chat line services is that you don't have to give information about yourself if you don't want to, only your voice may be recognizable, but you can just brush it off if they're the ones who recognize you.
Realizing your date knows your ex.
This could be embarrassing because you don't know what's been said about you. If you and your ex ended things positively, your date probably hasn't heard much about you, but if it's the opposite, you'll likely feel embarrassed as soon as you find out because you will be certain she's heard some unkind things.
This likely won't go anywhere since they know each other, and depending on how close they are, your date won't want to continue seeing you out of respect for your ex, as should you.
Realizing your date is your friend's ex.
Although this sounds like it could be difficult to encounter, if it's a friend you're not that close with, and they found each other on a dating app, which is where you found this person too, it wouldn't be uncommon for you to be going out with someone they went out with. Maybe they didn't quite have a relationship and only shared a few dates.
However, it could be embarrassing because you'll start to wonder about the comparisons your date might be trying to make between you and your friend, or maybe you've realized she's gone out with your friend, but she hasn't, so you're embarrassed to tell her. This one is easy to brush off, and your best bet is to be friendly and then cut things off.
Things to remember
- Everyone feels embarrassed sometimes. Although you're trying to overcome this feeling, it's something that everyone has felt at least once in their life. Maybe it's not something they frequently feel because they overcame those feelings of embarrassment, but everyone has been there before.
- It's all about how you handle the feeling. This is what will really determine if you are embarrassed by something or not. It all depends on how you handle the feelings the possibly embarrassing situations may cause. If you don't let things get to you, or you can easily brush them off, you will be golden.
- It's not nice to make others feel embarrassed. Although sometimes you think something is funny, or it seems fun to bug your friends about things in a friendly way, it may not always be taken like that. So remember, if you wouldn't want someone bugging you about something, don't bug your friends with that either. It might embarrass them, and it's not nice to do that.
Wrapping it up, feeling embarrassed is something you can stop if you set your mind to it and get in touch with your feelings and reactions to things. It's all in how you see things and if you choose to let them get to you or not.
Sometimes it can be difficult until you get used to it, but at the end of the day, we are all human, and we all feel embarrassed from time to time. The best thing you can do is practice different situations that may make you feel like that so they don't seem as daunting when you are presented with them.
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