How to Get a Girl to Talk to You

To get a girl to talk to you, it’s important to achieve the right mindset, attitude, and the perfect balance of confidence and humility. It may seem like a challenging task and a lot of work, particularly if you’re shy and have low confidence levels.

Or perhaps, your previous attempts have been unsuccessful because you weren’t assertive enough, and you lack self-assurance to flirt effectively.

However, here’s something that you should know. There are some tried and tested techniques and self-improvement strategies that you can do to make girls want to talk to you.

Start within yourself, and the rest should follow. If you focus on improving yourself, your qualities, and your skills, you’re almost there! It doesn’t take much to attract girls as long as you’re willing to make positive changes for self-betterment.

Here are the top 10 tips on how to get any girl to talk to you;

1. Develop a Sense of Self-Worth and Importance.

If you’re suffering from low self-confidence, focus on yourself first. Confidence can do wonders to your character and over-all personality. It can make you develop a stronger sense of self-worth. And once you develop this trait, you’ll exude a powerful sex appeal that’s hard for most girls to resist.

So how are you going to develop this trait? Go to the gym and work on a well-toned physique, engage in outdoor sports to get active, get a nice and appealing haircut, and wear clothes that fit you well to accentuate your best assets, and, most importantly, have fun.

Working on your physical appearance and creating positive changes with the way you look can influence how you feel about yourself. When you face the mirror, and you like what you see, you’ll feel more confident and self-assured, knowing that you’re physically at your best.

2. Choose the Right People to Hang Out With.

Your squad or group of friends plays a vital role in your personality. Make sure that you’re hanging out with the right crowd. These people are the ones that bring out the best in you and have positive influences on your character.

Avoid people that make you feel inferior and tend to strip away your confidence, as well as those who expose you to bad vices and a whole lot of trouble. Remember that the people you hang out with can either attract or draw people away from you.

So if you want to improve your chances of success with girls, be selective with the people you hang out with. Having a good company behind your back can encourage a girl to talk to you.

3. Work on Your Personal Hygiene.

Feeling good about yourself and looking at your best mean nothing if you have poor hygiene. To get girls to talk to you and to attract positive attention, you must establish a clean and fresh character. You can do that by working on your personal hygiene.

Girls are particularly drawn to guys that look and smell clean. It’s the ultimate impression that’s hard to ignore and leaves a lingering thought to girls. So even if you’re trying to maintain a macho or rugged image, pay close attention to your over-all hygiene.

4. Exude a Positive Personality.

Being kind, friendly, and humble never goes out of style. While it’s tempting to act cool, distant, and mysterious, being approachable works in a more positive way if your goal is to encourage girls to talk to you.

So try to exude an approachable aura and have a personality that’s accessible to most people. Acting friendly doesn’t necessarily mean earning the title of Mr. Congeniality, but rather developing a positive disposition that enables people to feel comfortable about approaching and talking to you.

5. Maintain Realistic Expectations.

According to studies and research by the Social Issues Research Centre (SIRC), guys have a higher chance of success when talking to someone with a similar level of sex appeal and attractiveness. So try to come up with realistic expectations to avoid scarring your self-esteem and going through disappointments.

It’s practically common knowledge that it’s easier to relate and converse with someone who’s on the exact wavelength as you are in comparison to someone who’s out of your league. And sometimes, having less expectations about girls can lead to surprisingly better outcomes.

6. Be Sincere and Genuine.

Sincerity and genuineness are two distinct qualities that you cannot fake. Not all girls fall for flashy looks and sky-high levels of confidence. You may fool some girls and have your dose of playtime, but you’ll easily end up with a bad reputation.

If you want to get girls to talk to you, focus on the things that matter. Be sincere and genuine, and you’ll end up attracting the right people and the right girls for that matter.

7. Accept It if She’s Not Interested.

Let’s do a quick reality check, even though you’re amazing, dazzling, and smart, you may not be someone’s cup of tea or slice of cake as far as being a boyfriend material is concerned. If it happens, accept it and move on. Developing this kind of attitude opens new paths to entertain other girls and better possibilities.

If it’s clear that a girl seems uninterested in you, then so be it. That doesn’t make you a wrong choice. In fact, she might be the one who’s wrong for you. Or perhaps, you can be friends. This attitude reflects the strength of character, which can attract a lot of girls because you don’t sweat over the small stuff.

8. Be a Good Listener.

Listen more and talk less. Find the right timing to speak your mind or to share something about yourself. Having a reputation for being a good listener is more appealing than being well-known as a smooth talker, and guys shouldn’t compete with girls when it comes to talking.

In fact, guys that are quiet and good listeners are well-loved and appreciated. There’s something sexy about guys that know how to listen and have the ability to understand the situation before speaking up. Work towards becoming this kind of guy, and you’ll surely get girls to talk to you.

9. Learn How to Offer Help.

Girls like guys that offer help. And yes, it’s perfectly fine to make the first move. So just go ahead and make them feel that chivalry isn’t dead yet. In fact, offering to help is the best way to approach girls and strike a conversation with them.

Use it as an excuse to highlight your best personality and to reveal your gentlemanly image. It could be as menial as carrying some stuff for her, changing a flat tire, offering to drive her somewhere, or helping out with a project.

But as much as you want to help, watch out for the red flags because girls can be tricky. Guys that are well-known for being helpful have a tendency to be used and abused. So learn to read between the lines.

Nevertheless, the next time you see a damsel in distress, offer some help and be sincere about it. The next thing you’ll know is that they’ll be the ones to actually make the first move to approach you and talk to you.

10. Pay Attention to Your Body Language and Gestures.

Your body language can communicate a lot of things when having a conversation. According to Chris Gottschalk, a speech-language pathologist, “smiling, leaning slightly towards someone without standing too close, and making good eye contact are all harmless flirting gestures that can make you seem more attractive to the other person” (from the book How to Start and Make a Conversation: How to Talk to Anyone in 30 Seconds or Less).

So relax, don’t be too self-conscious, and pay attention to your body language. If you’re nervous and too uptight, there’s a chance that she’ll feel it, and she might end up misinterpreting your actions.

The result is that she won’t want to talk to you again because you’re making her feel uncomfortable. To speak at a normal volume and tempo, try to loosen up and make her feel that she has your undivided attention.

How to Become More Appealing to Girls

Approaching and talking to girls is still a major challenge for many guys, especially those who are more comfortable with dating apps, social media, and phones. For some reason, initiating a conversation face-to-face is a daunting task that it becomes more convenient to think of ways to make a girl talk to them.

However, there are a lot of smooth talkers out there that can offer some advice on how to talk to girls and encourage a girl that they like to make the first move to talk to them.

It takes practice and confidence to exude that natural charm that can draw girls. However, with some good old-fashioned ways and seizing the right opportunity when it comes, you can strike up a good conversation and learn a lot from the process as well.

Here are some pieces of advice on how you can become more appealing to girls.

1. Hesitate, Contemplate, but Do It Anyway.

To get a girl to talk to you, you must muster the courage. Yes, it’s natural to hesitate for a brief moment, because talking to girls can be nerve-racking. So just embrace the fact that you might stutter, get sweaty, and feel weak around the knees – but do it anyway. The only way to get better is to start conquering your fears and just start talking.

2. Ask Questions.

The best way to get a conversation rolling is to ask questions. Come up with something clever to ask and start from there. Open-ended questions that require elaborate answers are your ticket to success. If you’re lucky, you might just get the girl to talk to you longer and in a far more interesting way than you can imagine.

3. Take Advantage of Technology.

A sure way to get to know a person well is to check her out on social media. If you have the guts to add her or to follow her, then you’re creating avenues for a friendly conversation.

Knowing about her interests and some of her activities could give you more reasons to approach her and initiate a small talk. And if you’re able to do it right, she might just love and enjoy talking to you.

4. Avoid Negative Topics.

Do you know what girls hate to talk about? Your guess is as good as mine. We do not mind readers. However, if you want to encourage a girl to keep talking to you, avoid topics such as her ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, popular girls you know, situations that embarrassed her in the past, fake friends, gossips, and your past relationships.

If you can get her to talk and you’re able to listen intently, you can get bonus points for being interested in what she’s saying.

5. Consider Rejection as Your Friend.

The pain and humiliation from rejection is real, but so are the lessons you can learn from it and the clear answers you’re able to find out. Consider this mindset; if you didn’t try, you wouldn’t know.

And that makes more sense than trying to figure out whether or not you have a chance. Don’t let it get you down because it’s not a death sentence. So embrace rejection, move on, and consider it as a part of the learning process.