Asking a girl out may seem daunting, but you have nothing to worry about. Think about what you're going to say and when you're going to ask her out so you can prepare to the best of your ability before asking her out. This applies to anyone, whether you're shy or extroverted, if you want to succeed when asking her out, you should be prepared.
Tips to Remember When Asking Her Out
Most of the following tips apply to the majority of ways you may ask a girl out, whether over the phone, in person, via e-mail, or on social media. Below, you will find tips to consider in every scenario when you're asking a girl out.
Entertain first.
Before asking her out, make sure to engage in good conversation first, and make her feel that you are an interesting person to talk to and hang out with. Basically, you want to be likable, so she will be inclined to want to spend more time with you and agree to go out with you when you ask her out. If you don't entertain her first, she won't be as interested in going out with you and may find you boring.
Show her you care.
You want her to feel that you care about her and what she has to say. Ask her about herself. You could ask about her family, friends, or something that she recently shared with you and follow up on how it went and the outcome of that situation. You want to let her know that she's not just someone you like, but someone that you truly care about. That will easily help you score a date.
Sound convincing.
Perhaps she is a bit insecure, she's had bad experiences with guys in the past, or she's simply not sure if she wants to date someone right now. If that's the case, you want to make sure you sound convincing when you're asking her out, and don't let her mind think that you're playing around with her. Be as sincere as you can be with how you choose to ask her out. Women tend to overthink and wonder if you really mean it or what your intentions are, so be direct when asking her out.
Ask at the right time.
You really want to make sure you're not interrupting anything important when you ask her out. Be considerate and aware of her schedule, and what she has going on, so you're not inconveniencing her. If you're not cautious with this, she may unintentionally reject you simply because she can't take a minute to think about what she really wants to do or because she can't give you her attention at that very moment.
Be yourself.
Although you want to impress her, seem interesting, and make it, so she wants to go out with you, you should still be yourself when asking her out. Pretending to be someone you're not will only lead to her being disappointed or confused when she realizes you weren't being authentic. Allow her to get to know the real you so you don't have to pretend and can always be yourself around her.
Ways to Ask a Girl Out
There are lots of ways you can ask a girl out, be it in person or through text, for example. Read more below to see the advantages and disadvantages of asking a girl out in each approach to decide which is the best one for you.
Asking a girl out in person.
If possible, you always want to ask a girl out in person, and it's the preferred approach for the best and most authentic reaction.
Advantages:
- Seeing her true reaction. When you ask a girl out face to face, you can observe how she reacts through her body language, and you can also observe what her very first reaction to you asking her out is.
- You avoid other people giving their opinion. Since you're asking her out in person, the decision to say yes or no to you is 100% hers. She can't ask her friends for input, and she has to decide for herself.
- You get an immediate answer. She's not going to have too much time to think about her answer because you will be waiting right in front of her, so you will get an answer from her quickly vs if you were to ask her through text.
Disadvantages:
- She might be more likely to reject you. Depending on her personality and how high her self-esteem is, she might be more likely to say no right away. She could be the type of person who needs reassurance or help from people around her to decide.
- You will need to have a date idea ready. If she says yes, she might ask what the plans will be, in which case you need to know what kind of date you will be taking her on. This puts a bit more pressure on you to have things thought out, so be prepared to answer that question.
Asking a girl out over the phone.
This approach isn't as great as asking her out in person; however, it's not a terrible approach either.
Advantages:
- You can hear her tone. When asking her over the phone, you can observe her tone when she answers you and tell if she's excited about going out with you or feeling nervous about it.
- She has to provide a quick answer. Just like when you're asking her out in person, she will have to give you a quick answer so as not to awkwardly keep you waiting over the phone.
Disadvantages:
- She might be able to tell if you're nervous. Compared to asking her out in person, this may not seem like a disadvantage because she will be able to tell less if you are showing signs that you are nervous, however, she will still be able to tell if you sound nervous. Compared to asking a girl out through text, this is a disadvantage because of that very same reason. If you tend to get extremely nervous when asking someone out, you should avoid this method.
- You'll have to wait until the date to see her. If she says yes, you won't be able to continue spending time with her right away like if you were to ask her out in person, you'd have to wait until whenever you set a date.
Asking a Girl Out Through Text.
Although it's not the preferred way to ask a girl out, it's still a valid option. Perhaps you are both incredibly busy people, and you only get the chance to exchange a few texts throughout the day. If that's the case, this may be your best bet for asking her out.
Advantages:
- It's quick. If you lack free time to hop on a call or set aside time to casually hang out, this is the quickest way to ask a girl out.
- She has time to think about her answer. Although this could be viewed as a disadvantage in some cases, it can also be a good thing. Some girls need time to think about what they want to do, especially if she is indecisive. If you think that sounds like her, this may be the best way to ask her out.
Disadvantages:
- Her answer might not be authentic. If you ask her out through text, she will be able to ask her friends what they think she should do, and her answer might not be 100% her.
- Other people might read what you sent her. Going along with the previously mentioned point of her friends influencing her decision, other people might read your text to her. There might not be anything truly wrong with that, but if you like to keep your relationships private, this is something to consider.
How to Ask Her Out Depending on Your Personality
We all have different personalities, which will impact how you choose to ask her out. You need to be aware if you are more introverted or extroverted, so you choose to ask her out so that you are comfortable, and not just in a way you think she will like more.
How to ask her out if you're a shy person.
It can be very difficult to work up the courage to ask someone out if you're a shy person. Follow these tips to successfully ask her out.
- Prepare. Think about what you are going to say before asking her out. Practice in front of a mirror if you need to, or call a friend and rehearse what you plan to say with them so they can give you constructive criticism as well.
- Don't be nervous. Even if you feel really nervous, try to control your nerves and remain calm. She is more likely to want to go out with someone who seems confident and sure of what they are going after.
- Be open. Let her know that you're feeling a little nervous about asking her out. If you're open with her, she will probably understand your nerves and will be able to make you feel better now that she knows the situation.
- Practice self-confidence. You can try doing some exercise, so you feel good about yourself before asking her out, or simply give yourself a pep talk and remind yourself you've got this. Going into things with a positive mindset can make a big difference.
How to ask her out if you're an extroverted person.
Although you're extroverted, make sure you're not overdoing it when asking her out by following these tips.
- Ask her about herself. She probably knows you are an extroverted person, and she might think that you're just playing around or being funny, so make sure you start the conversation with topics related to her, her day, her family, her work, or her hobbies, for example. This will show her you are really interested in her and that it's not all about you.
- Be serious. Oftentimes, extroverted people tend to be very outspoken and goofy. When asking her out, be serious about it, so she takes you seriously. Tell her why you'd like to take her out, so she doesn't just think you want to go out with her because you're very outgoing, but rather because you are truly interested in something more with her.
- Don't overdo it. Although you're outgoing, she may not be. When you ask her out, try to match her energy without losing your own essence so you don't come off too strong or overwhelm her.
- Don't talk too much. If you're extroverted, you probably like talking a good amount. You don't want to talk too much when you're asking her out, or she might get bored and be uninterested. Be straight to the point when asking her out.
How to Deal With Rejection After Asking a Girl Out
Rejection can be part of asking someone out, unfortunately. Hopefully, that's not the case, and by following these tips, you successfully ask a girl out, however, if you do have to deal with rejection, we suggest you try the following to overcome it faster.
Don't give up.
Without being annoying or too intense about it, don't give up on asking her out. Try understanding why she said no, and if it seems okay, try again in the future. Perhaps it was just bad timing, or she's not ready to go on a date with you, but she could be later on.
Consider being friends.
Although it didn't work out when you tried asking her out, you can still be friends with her. Who knows, maybe she will change her mind down the line, or if that doesn't happen, you have the chance to have a wonderful friendship.
Lean on your friends for support.
If she wants nothing to do with you after you tried asking her out, go to your friends for support. Soon enough, you'll meet someone else who could be a potential match for you.
Ending
It has been established that there are many ways to ask a girl out, now it's up to you to choose which one you will choose when asking her out. Keep in mind all of the pros and cons of asking her out in person, over the phone, or through a text so you can choose the right way to ask her out for you.
Make sure you think about your personality and what you're comfortable with when you ask her out, what she's like, and what she'll feel comfortable with. Making sure she's happy and feels good when you ask her out will guarantee you a date.
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