How to Control a Conversation

Controlling a conversation isn't the most difficult task if you know what you're doing. It's important to know why you might be trying to do so for the best results and identify some key things to do to accomplish this goal with ease.

Reasons to Control the Conversation

To learn how to control a conversation, you should first identify why you are trying to be in control of it. These are possible reasons:

1. You want to be in control of the conversation. Perhaps you are a natural leader or a control freak, so you prefer to be in control of the conversation for this reason. You want to be the one making the decisions and steering the conversation in whatever direction you wish.
2. You don't want the other person to be in control of the conversation. You might not have a leader-like personality, and you might be more soft-spoken. However, you don't want the other person to be in control of the conversation. Maybe they are annoying you, or they just do a bad job leading the conversation, so you much rather do it.
3. You want to obtain something from the conversation. Perhaps you want to convince the other person of something, or you want to negotiate something with them. In order to get exactly what you want, you need to be in control of the conversation.
4. To avoid a topic. You may be trying to avoid talking about something specific with this person, so you need to stay in control, so they don't bring up that topic. If you know how to control the conversation, you won't have any issues with this, and you can continue avoiding the topic successfully.

Aspects of the Conversation You Can Control

• The flow of the conversation. Sometimes conversations simply do not flow. This can cause an awkward or uncomfortable feeling, especially if there are unwarranted pauses in the conversation. Ideally, you want a conversation to be smooth and flow, so you can feel fulfilled throughout it.
• How often you change topics. If you control the conversation, this is another aspect you can control. Some people like to jump around from topic to topic, while others prefer to talk about one thing for a long time. If you are in control of the conversation, you can choose which of the two happens, depending on what you prefer.
• What you talk about. Since you're controlling the conversation, you get to choose what you are talking about. The other person may want to talk about something else, but if you do what is suggested in this article, you will be able to choose and control what you talk about in any conversation.
• How much you talk about a certain topic. Some people go on and on about something when there is no reason to. Whatever they are talking about is simply not interesting enough to talk about for that long. On the flip side, some people don't talk about something for long enough, switching the subject too fast. Being in control of the conversation, you have an ultimate say in how much time you spend talking about a specific topic.

Benefits of Controlling a Conversation

Controlling a conversation is beneficial because you get to decide what you are and are not talking about. Below are some of the benefits.

• You mostly talk about what you want. You're making the decisions, if you don't want to talk about something, you have the power to change the subject.
• You can choose to avoid certain topics. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about. If you want to avoid a certain topic, that's okay.
• The conversation will never be what you don't want it to be. By controlling the conversation, you will never find yourself in a situation you wish you weren't in. As simple and innocent as talking with someone may seem, it can lead to pretty uncomfortable situations if you don't know how to control it.

Body Language While Controlling a Conversation

To successfully control a conversation, you need to be very conscious of your body language, and what message you're giving to the person you are talking to.

• Strengthen your body language. First and foremost, make sure you have strong, distinctive body language so whatever message you are trying to convey is clear.
• Avoid looking away. Eye contact is important because it shows you pay close attention to whoever is speaking to you. Direct eye contact for too long can be intimidating for some, which is why it's important not to look away. Of course, you don't have to intimidate everyone you talk to in order to control a conversation, but it could be needed in certain situations.
• Avoid crossing arms. Crossing your arms while speaking to someone makes you seem closed off or angry. The message you want to convey is confidence in yourself and in what you want for the conversation to go the way you want it to. Instead, try having your arms in a relaxed position to convey you are open to talking so the other person feels comfortable. If you make them feel comfortable, they will allow you to control the conversation with little effort on your behalf.
• Be expressive with your body movements. This will make your body language easy to distinguish, making the message you wish to send clear to whoever you are speaking with.

Confidence to Control a Conversation Better

If you want to control a conversation, confidence is the key ingredient. If you lack confidence, whoever you are talking to will easily take control of the conversation. It is important they know you are in charge, and the best way to do that is to be sure of yourself and demonstrate you have a lot of self-confidence. Here are some tips for showing your confidence while having a conversation.

• Speak loud and clear. If you are quiet and no one can understand you, you will not be respected. Make sure you can be heard and understood clearly, so people respect you and listen to what you say.
• Believe what you say. You have to believe what you are saying, or else the other person will feel as if they cannot trust what you say. If they feel this way, there is a weakness in the conversation, and they may be able to take control of it.
• Fake it 'til you make it. If all else fails, fake it until you make it. You might not be a confident person, and you can work on that, but until then, pretend you are. Because being confident is crucial if you are trying to be in control in any circumstance.

Other Tips to Control a Conversation

The following are additional tips you should keep in mind when trying to control a conversation.

• Ask questions. If you ask questions, you will automatically be in control of the conversation. Whenever you encounter a moment of silence in the conversation, ask a question. Keep in mind that it is better to ask an open-ended question so you can keep the conversation going, rather than a simple yes or no question. Open-ended questions will always lead to more and more conversations, and the questions you can ask are endless.
• Respond firmly. This goes along with being confident when speaking. Whenever you are talking to someone or perhaps answering a question they asked, try to always respond firmly without doubting your response.
• Never let the conversation die down. Be the one to keep the conversation going, either by asking questions or by sharing something that will allow the other person to elaborate or will at least keep them engaged in listening to you.

How to Control a Conversation

Now that you have all of the best tips and tricks for controlling a conversation follow these steps.

1. Be confident. Remember, confidence will be the real selling point whenever you want to accomplish anything.
2. Always have something to say. If you stay quiet, you obviously wouldn't be controlling the conversation, so always have something to say.
3. Have positive body language. Body language is half of the conversation. It might not seem like a big deal, but your body language speaks volumes.
4. Know what you are talking about. If you don't know what you are talking about, you will not get far in the conversation, so make sure you know what you are saying.
5. Ask questions. Questions are powerful, and they will keep any conversation going. If you choose the questions, you are automatically directing the conversation, meaning you are in control.

Recap

There are many benefits when it comes to controlling a conversation. Knowing how to do so is important, especially when you are trying to be persuasive or seek to accomplish something specific with that conversation. Although the words you speak in a conversation seem like the most important part, body language is equally important.

This can be easy to overlook but should always be kept in mind. Following these tips will better prepare you to always be in control of any conversation you have.

How to Control a Conversation

By: Robert Wilson

Updated: Mar 2022

Robert Wilson is the production editor for PhoneSexNumbers.com. His job is to manage content production for all of the publications. Robert manages the writers, edits and approves content, and basically oversees the publication process in its entirety. Robert is described as an all-around nice guy by the rest of his co-workers, making him a joy to work with. Outside of his job, he is a film connoisseur and proudly admits he spends 90% of his free time watching movies and learning about what went into creating the film.

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