So there's a girl out there that has caught your eye. She could be your dream girl, but how do you get her? It isn't easy because the right girl never is. But if you can learn how to talk to her and win her over, you'll be heading in the right direction.
If you struggle to find the right words to say, worry no more. This article will teach you what you should avoid and what you should say. With enough practice, you'll be the best conversationalist in any room with any girl.
What Not to Say to a Girl You Like
To start things off, you want to make sure there are some things you aren't saying. They are not great to lead with, and not really great to finish with either. It's all about your wording, and how you want to convey yourself.
"My ex used to…"
No girl wants to hear about your ex. The moment you bring it up, all that girl will think about is the fact that you have an ex. Most girls don't like the idea of competition. And if you are bringing up your ex, that means you are still probably thinking about her. And to a girl, that means you are not over her yet. So immediately, you've squandered your chances of getting this girl to be anything other than a friend.
"You remind me of…"
This one may have a sweet meaning behind it, but you will probably end up offending her or weirding her out. Whether she reminds you of your sister or a super attractive woman from your favorite movie, she definitely does not want to know. You will just end up making her uncomfortable. Plus, saying that means that she will know you've been staring at her and thinking about her a lot.
"No offense, but…"
If you lead with "no offense", it means you are definitely about to be very rude. You may not realize it at the time, but it won't come out the right way, and you will make the girl you like very angry. Or you'll hurt her feelings, which is even worse. If you have anything to say that may seem harsh or weird in your mind, do not say it. And especially, do not start a conversation with it. It will end up being one of the shortest conversations in your life.
"I hate it when women…"
You may not be a feminist, but you cannot let her know. Do not try to be sexist in your first conversation with a girl you like. If you like a woman, then don't criticize women, or else you probably won't get any of them to date you. The moment you start cutting on women as a group is the same moment that that girl will lose any and all interest in you.
"That's stupid"/"That's annoying"
When talking to the girl you like, it is okay to get nervous. But don't let those feelings push you to say something silly. When you like a girl, you want her to feel good about herself. If she associates those feelings with you, she will be much more likely to like you. So don't belittle her excitement or passions by saying that they are stupid or annoying because it will go against you.
"I am so bored."
Hopefully, if you like a girl, talking to her won't lead to boredom. But in the unfortunate case that it does, you really should not let her know. It may offend her or hurt her feelings, and then you are doing the opposite of what you set out to accomplish. Just try to have patience. She may be shy and need some time to open up and free her fun side.
What to Say to a Girl You Like
What you say is just as important as what you avoid saying. Here are a few ideas that will get you in a good place with the girl you like:
"You are so smart."
Complimenting the girl you like on her personality and features other than her looks will always get you somewhere. A lot of girls worry that guys are just into them because of their looks. So make sure you take the time to highlight the things about their personality that you love the most.
"Do you remember when…?"
Bring up memories that the two of you share. It will remind her of how close you are, which may lead her to think more fondly of your friendship or relationship. Plus, laughing about good times is a great way to bring positivity and heartfelt talk into any conversation.
"What do you want to do?"
When you like a girl, make sure you don't just order her around. Of course, having things planned for your hangouts and such will definitely make things feel like a date, but sometimes you need to take a step back and ask her what she wants. Give the girl you like the opportunity to lead, and you may be surprised by how much she enjoys it.
"It's okay!"
If she does something embarrassing or silly and gets nervous, laugh with her, not at her. Don't drag out the joke and try to make fun of her endlessly. Just remind her that everything is fine and you still really like her and enjoy her company. For example, if she has a wardrobe malfunction and her pants rip, she will probably be mortified. So it is up to you to assure her that everything is fine and to offer your jacket so she can cover up.
"Do you like…?"
When you like a girl, you have to actually show your interest in her. Ask her questions about her favorite things, and try to show her just how interested you are by actively listening and retaining the things she tells you. The more you learn about her, the easier dates and such would be to plan because you know about all of the things she loves.
"Would you like to…?"
Instead of pulling her everywhere, you want to go, ask her about your plans first. It will seem very sweet and thoughtful of you, and she will remember that you always considered her feelings. And it will be a great opportunity to see how much you have in common, depending on how much of your plans she dislikes.
"I got it."
Whether you've got her door, her hand, or the bill for dinner, try to be considerate. Do the gentlemanly thing, and you will probably be rewarded. Try to do the little things that don't matter as much to you and are easy to do. She will notice, and those little things won't be as little to her as they are to you.
"Tell me about…"
Getting her to talk to you and open up to you will be one of the quickest ways to her heart. As you learn about her funny stories and her family and friends, it will strengthen the bond you both share. And as you ask her questions and show her that interest, it will hopefully be reciprocated, and you will be able to share things about yourself as well. Don't be afraid to ask questions in order to show her just how interested you are.
"You are so funny!"
Every girl wants to be seen as the funniest person around, so make sure you are laughing at her jokes as well. Out of kindness, most women will laugh at other mens' jokes to make them feel good and polite. So try to return that favor and make her feel good. She will probably notice since you will be one of the few people who laugh at every joke she makes. And she will appreciate it a lot and see you as a great person.
To Conclude
Women are typically not the easiest to win over. It takes a lot more than a physical connection to pique her interest. You have to learn how to work with her feelings and how to be able to connect on an emotional level. It will take a lot of hard work, but it is worth it if the girl is worth it to you.
And if things don't work and you end up with an unrequited crush, that is more than okay. It happens to everyone at least once in their lives. Just learn to laugh it off and move on so that you can go for a girl who will appreciate your effort and the things you bring to the table. You deserve someone who will return the effort and emotions and treat you the way you enjoy being treated.
With the lists above on what not to say and what to say, you are now fully equipped with some great conversation pieces. Just make sure to avoid what you worry may offend her or creep her out. Remember to practice patience and active listening, and be sincere with the things you are saying.
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