Why He Doesn't Commit to You

If you really like a guy and you've been going out with him for a while, you start to expect that you'll be taking the next step to start a relationship eventually. However, not everyone can commit to someone and take things more seriously. This is why we've gathered a list of reasons he may not want to commit to you, so you can better understand what's happening.

He is afraid of being lonely.

He doesn't want to commit to being in a relationship with you because he wants to be with someone, so he doesn't feel alone. It's not because he's actually into or in love with you. He just wants to feel wanted and loved. He's afraid of feeling lonely because he isn't comfortable being alone and relies on someone else's company.

He likes getting attention.

He doesn't want to be tied down because he likes getting attention from other women. You should appreciate that he doesn't want to commit to you and that he's able to admit this because some guys try to play it off or commit to a relationship when really they're still interested in receiving attention from other women. It's not always bad if he cannot commit to you.

He hasn't achieved his career goals.

If he hasn't achieved his career goals, he might not be interested in committing to someone. He might feel as if he has to focus solely on reaching his career goals before sharing his time with someone else. Although this seems negative regarding being with him because it doesn't allow you to do so, it speaks positively about how he views his goals and how important it is for him to accomplish them.

He expects a major relocation change.

Perhaps he's going to further his education, or he has a job opportunity in a different place that will require him to relocate. This could be why he doesn't want to commit to you, because he's unsure about doing long distance, or he simply doesn't believe in long distance.

You should talk about if the relocation is permanent or only temporary so you can further discuss where you stand and if you could revisit the idea of pursuing something further down the line.

Keep in mind, the relocation could be due to him not liking the city he currently lives in, and that would greatly impact things because then you know that he is more than likely staying wherever he is going. If he hasn't committed to you yet, it's not a good idea to follow him where he goes, so don't even think about that as an option.

He likes you but not enough.

You might be extremely interested in him, but that doesn't mean he feels the same way. If you've only known each other for a short period of time, he might need to get to know you more to start liking you more. Not everyone clicks right away, and sometimes there's more interest from one person than from the other. However, if you've been dating for a decent amount of time, and this is his reason for not wanting to commit to you, then it's time to move on.

He overthinks.

He could be having a hard time committing to you because he overthinks too much. Many people tend to overthink a lot of aspects of their life, especially ones that could be significant. He might be the kind of person that only gets into a relationship with someone he thinks there is potential to build a life with.

If that's the case, he is most likely overthinking his decision about whether or not he should commit to you because he knows it could affect his life in many ways. This is another instance where it doesn't mean that he'll never commit to you; it just means that he isn't going to do it until he has the chance to analyze the situation thoroughly.

He's not single.

Yes, you might be in love with him, and you really want him to commit to something serious with you, but in reality, he avoids speaking about that because he might already be with someone else. It's unfortunate to find out that he isn't committing to you because he's actually not single, but it can happen.

If this ends up happening, instead of being disappointed that he wasn't able to commit to you, be glad that you don't have to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't even capable of committing to one girl. Sometimes, it's for the best when he's unable to commit to you.

He doesn't want responsibilities.

A relationship is a responsibility, and it's not always easy and fun. Depending on where you are in life, the relationship you want to begin could mean marriage and kids, and those are even bigger responsibilities. Not everyone is ready for that, and not everyone is at a place where they think they will handle it well.

Try to pay attention to what he's like in other aspects of his life, how mature he is, and how responsible he is in general. Those things will let you know if he's not looking for the responsibility committing to someone entails.

He had bad experiences.

Maybe he had a bad breakup, his ex was crazy, or his previous relationships haven't been the best. Because of his bad experiences, he may be fearful of jumping into a new relationship and committing to someone. Perhaps by talking about it, you can change his mind, don't give up if this is why he doesn't want to commit to you.

He's working on himself.

Before getting into a relationship, he knows he needs to improve some things about himself to be the best he can be when he is with someone. Although this sounds like an excuse, that's not always the case. Continue talking to him if you're really interested in him, and pay attention to see if he's actually working on himself.

Chances are he really wants to be a better person before committing to someone, and if he's interested in you, he'll let you know when he's ready if you're still available.

He's not looking for anything serious.

Not everyone wants to commit to someone. He might enjoy being single and casually dating several girls at a time. This might not be your style or what you're looking for, but it's not an invalid reason for him not to want to commit.

He's unsure what he wants.

We don't always know what he wants, which can cause commitment issues because you don't want to start something you're unsure about. Maybe he's someone that changes his mind easily, or maybe he's going through an unstable time of his life, and he just can't figure out what he wants.

He's not over his ex.

Usually, if he has commitment issues and broke up with someone recently, it can be because he's not over his ex. This will depend on how serious his previous relationship was, how deeply he tends to care for someone and fall in love with them, and how long they were together.

He has other priorities.

He could have a lot going on in his life right now, and he needs to prioritize those things over a relationship. It could be work-related, family-related, or related to other aspects of his life. He knows that he can't commit to a relationship with you because you won't be his top priority, and he wouldn't like you to feel like you don't matter or like you don't have enough of his attention or time.

Most of his friends are single.

If lots of his friends are single, he probably enjoys being able to do everything they're doing. He might be hesitant to commit to a relationship because he knows it could mess up the dynamic and change how he spends his time with his friends. This doesn't mean that he has a deep-rooted problem with commitment. He'll probably be ready to commit when some of his other friends are thinking about doing so as well.

It might seem like he has terrible commitment issues if you notice lots of these signs, but not all of them are forever. Although it's not encouraged that you wait around forever, depending on what signs of his lack of commitment he is showing, you could consider keeping the door open to the possibility of dating him in the future.

It might not happen quickly, but if you don't completely shut down the idea, revisiting the situation or trying to date again to see where he stands might not be a terrible idea. Some instances where you can reconsider down the line if he's not quite ready to commit are if most of his friends are currently single, if he's working on himself, or if he hasn't achieved certain goals.