When you are dating or in a relationship, you will encounter a variety of different men. Some of them are good men who will never cheat on you, while, unfortunately, others will. Besides knowing what signs to look out for to identify a cheater, it is also beneficial to understand why they cheat on you so that if it happens, you do not torture yourself over it.
Percentage of Men That Cheat
There are three types of men: those who cheat, those who leave their current relationship before cheating, and those who remain faithful. The majority of men cheat on their partner at least once in their lifetime. About 22% of men are cheaters, but only 5% of them cheat frequently. The other 17% have cheated before, but they regret doing so or have vowed not to do it again.
Only 15% of men leave their current relationship before cheating, indicating that they may have been tempted to cheat or interested in someone else, but decided to remain loyal to their partner and end the relationship before pursuing anything further. Additionally, only 20% of men have been cheated on, suggesting that more often than not, they are the ones who engage in infidelity.
Emotional Cheating vs Physical Cheating
When discussing cheating in a relationship, two types of infidelity may occur: emotional cheating and physical cheating. Emotional cheating involves inappropriate communication with someone, possibly with ulterior motives beyond just friendship, while physical cheating involves acting on the urge to cheat and engaging in physical contact with another person that goes beyond mere friendship.
It's crucial to distinguish between the two to identify what is happening in your relationship. Although both types of cheating are considered infidelity, one may be more consequential than the other.
Why Do Men Cheat?
They're attention-seekers.
Some men love having all the attention on them, and having only your attention isn't enough. They want to have every girl's attention, so you'll notice that they often have a flirty personality with everyone around them, which can be reciprocated back to them or used to captivate more people's attention. Everyone likes a likable person, and they know that having a flirty personality will do the trick.
They don't truly love their partner.
Some men cheat simply because they are not genuinely in love with their partner. Perhaps, they never were in love with them, and they committed to the relationship for other reasons that were not genuine, or maybe they fell out of love and are trying to find it elsewhere.
Low self-esteem and morality.
Unfortunately, this could be a reason why they are cheating on you, but it could be because they have low self-esteem. They would rather be with other women who don't take them seriously or whom they will only see once, than spend too much time with the woman they are in a relationship with, who most likely knows all of their flaws.
Fear of missing out on other "better" opportunities.
Some men cheat because they can't commit to just one woman. They can't help but think about all of the women out there and how one might be better than the one they are with. Of course, this also indicates that they are not fully invested in or in love with the woman they are currently with. Their fear of missing out on "better" women or "better" opportunities with those women could be the reason they cheat.
Broken relationship with loss of hope.
A relationship is good until it isn't. Sometimes a man finds himself in a relationship that isn't really a relationship anymore, but it hasn't been formally ended. This means that there are many problems in the relationship, and the parties involved don't really act like they're in a relationship anymore.
However, they find themselves in a situation where they can't or simply haven't ended things yet. This could be because they live together and it's difficult to move on, or because neither of them wants to be the one to end things, for example. Because the relationship is practically over, one may feel like it's okay to cheat, but it is not acceptable even in this situation.
They had too much to drink.
Some men might cheat on their partner because they got too drunk one night and acted irresponsibly. Usually, there are issues in the relationship that could cause them to be more stressed than usual, or it could be as simple as having had too much to drink.
They weren't clear about the status of their relationship.
They might be in an 'on again, off again' type of relationship where the boundaries of their relationship are unclear, and they might cheat as a result. Although this might not qualify as intentional cheating due to the ambiguity of the situation, it is still considered cheating and could cause harm to the other person involved.
They want something you don't have.
A man might cheat on you because you lack certain qualities that he seeks in a partner, which he may find in someone else. While there may be several things he appreciates about you, which is why he hasn't ended the relationship, he might not feel completely satisfied.
They've always been cheaters.
Sometimes, once a cheater, always a cheater. Not every man who has cheated in the past will do it again in every subsequent relationship, but in most cases, the pattern does repeat itself. The outcome can vary depending on the situation, the consequences, and the amount of emotional and personal growth that has taken place.
To seek revenge.
Maybe he was cheated on, and despite his efforts to repair the relationship and work through the issues with his partner, he still holds negative feelings about the situation. As a way to avenge what she did to him, he might cheat on her.
Emotional immaturity.
It's no surprise that a man who is emotionally immature may also be a cheater. Without a sense of emotional responsibility, he may not care about the impact of his actions on his partner.
He doesn't feel appreciated.
He might cheat because he feels like he gives too much and doesn't get much back or appreciated for everything he does. As a result, he may seek someone else who values him more.
He thinks you're too busy.
He might feel neglected and unimportant if you're always busy with other things and not making time for him. Instead of waiting for things to change, he may choose to cheat and find someone who can give him more attention.
How to Spot a Cheater
Below, you will find some signs to look out for when trying to spot a cheater.
- He hides his phone from you. He hides his phone as he doesn't want you to see any notifications he may receive. Even if you simply pick up his phone to check the time, he'll likely become defensive, which is a significant warning sign.
- He can't keep his story straight. Whenever you ask him for details about something, he tells you one thing at one time and something different another time. He can't keep his story consistent because he's fabricating it and not being truthful with you.
- He's acting more distant. If a man has always behaved a certain way with you but suddenly starts giving you the cold shoulder, it's likely that he's cheating on you. He may have found someone else who can provide him with the things you used to give him and someone new he's focusing on and caring about. However, due to his emotional immaturity, he's not going to end things with you, opting instead to cheat on you, which is easier. If you notice this behavior, be cautious.
- He becomes easily annoyed by you. Even the slightest things that may have bothered him before now bothers him way more. You can sense that he's irrationally annoyed by you, and you can't seem to understand why. The reason could be that he's cheating on you.
- When you ask him questions, he responds vaguely. He does this to avoid inconsistencies in his story, as he knows he can't keep it straight. He refrains from elaborating on anything, dodges details at every opportunity, and avoids giving a clear answer, all to maintain his lies and continue cheating on you without being caught.
To finalize, while not all men who cheat will continue to cheat forever, many of them fail to recognize the harm they've caused until it's too late. Some men are genuinely good individuals who make a mistake, while others who have been cheated on themselves are committed to being faithful to their partners.
Regardless of the circumstance, it's important to remember the warning signs mentioned above to prevent being cheated on and to identify a cheater.
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