If you are someone that is aware of your insecurities and want to overcome them, it's important to understand why you are an insecure person. This can be because of current things happening to you or due to past trauma you carry.
Here are some more reasons with in-depth explanations that can help you further understand your insecurities.
Why You Might Be An Insecure Person
You compare yourself too much.
You constantly compare yourself to those around you, whether you know them or not. You could be doing this with silly things, such as something that has to do with how that person looks, or you could be comparing yourself to someone else regarding their lifestyle, for example.
The error in doing this is that you don't truly know everything they're going through or have gone through, and perhaps you're better off than they are, despite it not seeming that way. If you make it a habit to constantly compare yourself to everyone, you'll have lots of insecurities in many aspects of your life.
You aim for perfection.
Your perfectionism can seem like something others should strive for. You're probably good at lots of things, and you're proud to always be the one who seems to get everything right, however, there is a negative side to that. When you make a mistake, you don't typically take it so well because you're not used to being wrong or doing poorly.
This can negatively impact you and turn mistakes you make or times when you're not as perfect as you usually are into insecurities.
You were bullied.
Experiencing bullying at any time in your life can be very difficult and even traumatizing. It can cause you to develop many insecurities that were never even a problem until someone brought them up and made you see them. Perhaps you had a small flaw, and you knew about it, but you didn't think it was a problem because it was something that you managed on your own and didn't get in the way of anything or anyone.
Until one day, someone else notices that flaw and starts picking on you for it or making fun of you with others. Suddenly, what was once a small, insignificant flaw, turns into something that causes you to feel insecure.
You don't socialize.
Not socializing can make you feel insecure because it can make you feel like you're not good enough for anyone. Not having a very big social circle can be difficult for some people, and it can make you feel like you're not worthy of having friends and like nobody likes you.
It's a difficult cycle to break out of because you're constantly convincing yourself that no one likes you enough to be your friend, so you don't make an effort to make new friends, and you start to fall into a pattern and feel stuck.
Too much caffeine.
Caffeine affects how you react to your environment and the people around you, often causing you to overthink. Overthinking can lead to insecurities.
You have a hard time trusting people.
You could be insecure because you have a hard time trusting people due to past experiences. Perhaps you've been cheated on in past relationships, so you find it difficult to really trust the next person you're with. You have insecurities in your relationship because you're afraid of getting hurt again and being cheated on again.
You lack self-esteem.
You have very low self-esteem, don't think highly of yourself whatsoever, and don't think anyone else could ever be capable of doing so. These are the perfect conditions for insecurities to begin showing up and taking over.
You're afraid of being alone.
If you're starting to feel insecure in your relationship when in reality, everything is actually going really well, it could be because you're afraid of being alone. You start becoming more jealous, and your insecurities start to show because you fear not being with them.
How Insecurities May Affect You
Having insecurities will affect your life in many ways. Sometimes they will only affect your life in some aspects, and sometimes they will affect many aspects. It will greatly depend on what is causing the insecurity, but here are some ways your insecurities will affect your relationships, friendships, and personal life.
Affects Relationships
Having insecurities can affect your relationship because you start to show these insecurities, and the other person notices and won't enjoy their presence. No one likes an insecure person, and it's not something that most people find attractive. It can be very deterring for someone because insecurities tend to present problems, and people usually want to avoid having issues.
Affects Friendships.
Similar to how when you're in a relationship, it's not very attractive to have insecurities. In friendships, insecurities can also push people away. It can make it difficult to make new friends if you're not enjoyable to be around.
Affects Your Personal life.
Your insecurities can also affect your personal life by causing anxiety or depression, which can affect many other aspects of your life. It can cause you to feel easily overwhelmed and discouraged because you're so insecure.
How to Overcome Your Insecurities
Nobody wants to feel insecure, but sometimes it's inevitable. These are some ways you can try to overcome your insecurities.
1. Make a list of things you are insecure about.
The first step is becoming aware of your insecurities. If you can identify your insecurities and write them down, you are aware of them and can begin tackling them, one by one. This can be difficult, and you don't have to figure it out all at once.
You can have an active list that you continue to add to over time as you realize all of your insecurities. You should also make edits to this list as you begin to overcome some of your insecurities.
It will be encouraging to see how you've begun to overcome insecurities, and you'll be more motivated to continue to overcome the rest of them.
2. Think about why you have each of those insecurities.
Ask yourself why you're insecure about that certain thing. Make a list of the reasons for each insecurity you have. You can do this in your head or on paper, but make sure you remember and think back on each of the reasons.
Overcoming your insecurities is a process, and there can be ups and downs. It's important that you're able to look back at your reason for each insecurity when it presents itself so you can break it down and tackle the issues.
3. Start addressing the problems that caused those insecurities.
Once you've become aware of your insecurities and understand why you have those insecurities, it's time to start addressing the problems that cause them. If you are too much of a perfectionist, for example, you should start practicing being more accepting of flaws and mistakes and avoid correcting things to make them perfect.
If you are feeling insecure because you have trust issues due to past relationships, and they're affecting your current relationship despite your partner being completely trustworthy, you need to heal your past traumas. That also applies to having trauma from being bullied.
You are capable of changing how you view yourself, and that is a good step to take when moving forward with your insecurities.
4. Talk to someone about it.
You don't have to overcome your insecurities all by yourself. Even if you don't have a lot of friends, pick the one that you feel is the best listener and who gives the best advice, and tell them what's going on and how you're feeling. If you're in a relationship and you think your partner would be supportive, tell them as well.
Ideally, you probably want to seek a professional to talk to if you feel like your insecurities are taking over your life, but if that's not the case and you think you're able to solve the issue on your own, talking to people that are around you is a great idea.
If you feel anxious about the idea of talking to someone face to face and don't want to ask a friend to help you with this issue, you can always try to use a phone chat line to talk to a stranger and progressively start getting comfortable with talking to someone.
5. Remember to stay positive.
When you feel insecure about something, it's easy to be really hard on yourself and not have the most positive thoughts all the time. Feeling that way can discourage you from overcoming your insecurities and make it even harder to do so. You might even convince yourself that it's not worth it to continue overcoming your insecurities, and you'll throw away all the progress you've made.
However, if you remember to stay positive and to keep in sight the light at the end of the tunnel, you will find the courage and energy to continue your journey of overcoming your insecurities. It's okay to have setbacks, even normal, but you should always continue moving forward.
Everyone has insecurities, some are big, and some are small. Some are very impactful, and some are not. Some are easy to overcome and don't stick around for a long time, while others are very difficult to overcome. But the fact of the matter is that everyone experiences a few insecurities throughout their lifetime, and everyone has to figure out how to overcome them.
No comments yet, leave yours!