Tantric sex comes from the word “tantra” which means to get to know yourself and one another more intimately, making a deep connection. Tantra is from ancient Sanskrit, meaning to ‘weave’ or ‘web’ energy. Almost as if you are weaving both your physical and spiritual beings together within yourself, but also with each other.
It sounds confusing, but it’s only confusing if you don’t know how to mix physical with spiritual. And intertwine your feelings and emotions with another human being. If you do, then tantric sex might be the best thing for you and your partner.
What makes tantric sex different from just regular ol’ sex? Well, it’s the spiritual element of it being brought into the emotional aspect of intercourse. It’s kind of like yoga in the sense that you are supposed to learn to become more in tune with your own body, and then this will allow you to become more in tune with your lover.
Plus, if you practice tantric sex thoroughly and properly, you’ll learn to channel your energies during sex which will cause humongous orgasms!
All About Tantric Sex
How Do You Perform Tantric Sex?
Since Tantric sex is all about using your mind along with your body, it’s no secret that you would need to start with your mind first. The whole idea is to become in tune with one another, knowing each other’s body inside and out, and connecting your energy with theirs.
It’s not like old fashioned sex in the way that you are actually to use your brain and focus on energies more than just jumping in the bed and taking your clothes off.
First, start with some deep breaths, you and your partner could do these breathing techniques together. It’s a lot like yoga, so don’t feel weird when it feels a little more like a work out first than a sex sesh.
Next, you could try some light stretching, this will not only make you more limber and flexible if needed but you’ll also relax more, and tensions will be released during exercise.
Prepare your space and area with a relaxing, almost mesmerizing scene, with little to no distractions, super light music, candles, or a nice, soft scent of something, a really soft place to lie down while doing it and make sure the temp in the room is just right.
While there is no right or wrong to have tantric sex since it is more about being connected than orgasming, here are a few things to always incorporate into your next tantric sex fest.
- Breathing: We lightly spoke about this before, light breathing exercises as you would do with yoga are essential here for tantric sex
- Eye-gazing: Since it’s all about being spiritual with one another and connecting on a deep level, you’ll need to catch eyes as often as you can.
- Take it very slowly: Tantric sex is not meant for people who like “wam, bam, thank you ma’am” when they get it on with someone. In fact, it’s meant for quite the opposite. You should never rush during tantra because then it would just be sex. You wouldn’t be able to connect spiritually at all, and the physical connection wouldn’t be that deep either. Remember to pay attention to every single nook and cranny of their body, and yours.
- Imagine your energies intertwining: We know it sounds funny and almost unrealistic, but it can be done or it wouldn’t have the name tantric sex. If you are making love, imagine your energy climbing out of your body and jumping into their body and vice versa, almost like an exchange of energy.
Believe it or not, it will make you feel super connected to them. Think about it like your favorite song, or how you feel when you eat your most favorite food, that euphoric feeling you get when you get that first whiff of your food or hear the beat to your favorite song coming on the radio.
You’ll need to feel that but with your partner and with your soul's intermingling.
Tantric Sex: Alone Preparation
So, you think that you won’t be able to prepare yourself for your next tantric sex session because you’re alone a lot of the time? Think again. There are actually things that can be done that will benefit you spiritually and physically during the session but you can do them all alone before you even get with your man or woman to do them.
We call them the three M’s: masturbation, massage (self), and meditation.
- Masturbation: since tantric sex is slow and gentle, make sure you are slow and gentle with yourself during masturbation. This will show you what you might like out of your partner or session.
- Self-massage: this works because you can literally get a can of body oil or massage oil, lube yourself up, and very slowly work your muscles all over your entire body. This is going to help loosen you up and allow you to let go of stress before having sex.
- Meditation: Tantric sex and meditation are very similar in the fact that they both focus on breathing and taking things extra slowly. Clearing your head and mind before sex will allow you to focus only on the present moment and not worry about what happened before or what might happen tomorrow.
Tantric Sex: Positions
There aren’t really any “set” positions for tantric sex, but there are some ways that are much better than others. Sorry guys, but doggy style isn’t one of them this time.
- Have her sit on top of him with her legs and knees bent up so that she can balance and use her feet as needed. He will be sitting down Indian style underneath. This provides super close contact and eye gazing for days...or hours. This is most widely known as the Tantric sex position “Yab Yum”.
- Another widely known tantric sex position is called the Daily Devotion where every morning you and your partner will spoon, with her as the little spoon, and he will insert his penis into her vagina and just leave it there for a good 5-10 minutes with no movement. We know this sounds unnatural, but don’t knock it till ya try it.
Tantric Sex: Exercises
With tantric sex being so different than just having sex, it’s important that you and your partner get the hang of being able to do it. And unless you are just two extremely patient, in tune with your own feelings and their kind of people, chances are you are going to have to work really hard at performing and having a good tantra session.
No worries, there are actually tantric sex exercises set in place just for that, and you’ll be super surprised at how well they work afterward.
- Making your two hearts in tune with one another. Yes, we know, this sounds super cheesy and like every single disney movie you’ve ever seen, but hear us out real quick. If you want a pretty awesome relationship, with lots of sex, you’ll want to break out that cheesy shit every once in awhile. So the point here is to stand across from one another, reaching out with your left hand (the both of you) and touching the other’s heart. You’ll want to try and match your breathing as you stand lovingly gazing into each other’s eyes. Bonus points if you can match heartbeats!
- Sitting in his lap and face to face. This might look super funny to anyone who walks by while you’re in his lap but screw them, you’re trying to have a super hot sexy time and the point of sitting with one-another like this is to become one. The feeling of your arms wrapped around each other coupled with your hearts touching is sure to bring the two of you to the bedroom.
- During sex, continue these moves, breathing together and going slowly to explore every nook and cranny of their body (and yours).
Tips and Suggestions for Having Amazing Tantric Sex
Tantric sex is the complete opposite of a ‘quickie’ or a one night stand, and that thought alone should make your partner ready to jump in bed with you tonight. In fact, it’s more about becoming intimate, connected, spiritual, and having way bigger and better orgasms.
The fact that you are breathing together and going a slow as possible will build-up the sexual desire so much so, that it will be ready and willing to explode there at the end!
Before you go off and suggest Tantric love-making to your partner, we want to leave you some tips & suggestions for completing this journey and really making it work for both of you.
#1 Being naked is not essential, it is optional
Sorry guys, but since tantra is more about what is inside than what is outside, it really isn’t going to matter how much of her clothes she takes off. On the other hand, if you show your lady you love her with her clothes on chances are she’ll be more willing to take them off down the road. Just saying.
#2 Heighten all of your sense by doing sense exercises
Yes, there is such a thing as a ‘sense’ exercise, this is where you can work out your sense such as smell, taste, and touch. There are a variety of ways to do this, find what works best for you personally.
#3 The two E’s: Experiment and explore
Explore your partner's body from head to toe, and experiment with sensual things you haven’t done yet. Light nibbling of the nipples, soft licking in areas that don’t always get licked. Build them up for the final ending.
#4 Don’t forget about your breathing and always, always, always, go slow!
The two major important things to tantric sex are breathing and going slow. This is what keeps it from being "normal" sex. This is also what leads to the big O, so don’t forget to make your partner feel like turned on and is also reciprocating those breathing techniques (and going slow) just like you are!
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