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What to Talk About on a First Date

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A lot of people get nervous about first dates. The anxiety can go up if they are going out with someone they particularly like. This is natural since the first date is an important milestone between two people trying to get to know each other to find a connection.

A first date is a major turning point that can determine if a second date is still worth a shot. As the saying goes, your first date with this person will only happen once, so you have to make it fun and memorable. Are you thinking of what to talk about on a first date? Do you feel anxious about opening up a topic?

Stop stressing yourself on how you can keep the conversation going between you and your date. The truth is, if you have an undeniable connection, things would naturally fall into place without sweating it out. You may even realize that it doesn't take a lot of effort to connect with someone who warmly welcomes your gestures and ideas.

So relax and take comfort that your first date shouldn't be a terrifying situation that you must overcome to get to the next level. If things are meant to be, no amount of first date disaster can ruin a relationship that's meant to blossom. To have a good start, fill your mind with interesting first date topics that can infuse many positivities and comfortable vibes on your date. Here are tried-and-tested topics that you might want to consider;

1. Common Interests.

The first date could be a part of the "getting to know each other phase". It's the perfect opportunity to get to know each other's interests, hobbies, and passions in life. As you immerse in these topics, you may also try to find common interests and things that could potentially make you click with each other. It could be music, arts, travel, food, or certain advocacy.

Finding your common interests and discussing them during your date is a good way to establish a connection. It is the best way to encourage your date to talk and share relevant details about himself/herself. Moreover, talking about your common interests will allow both of you to share your fondness for certain things and topics, regardless of how funny or trivial they are.

2. Family and Friends.

Getting to know each other during your first date includes sharing bits and pieces about yourself. These include your family, friends, colleagues, and your common acquaintances. You don't necessarily have to get into the full details to avoid being too personal. Sharing "too much too soon" may disrupt your first date bliss. Therefore, it's best to keep things light and casual.

For example, you can mention a little bit about your family life and some of your fondest memories while growing up. You may also talk about your respect and admiration for your parents or siblings. If you have common friends and acquaintances, you may briefly discuss them to break the ice and lay the foundation for your next topic.

First dates set up by family, friends, and colleagues usually start with the formalities, followed by a conversation about the people who made a date possible. In this sense, talking about certain people somehow puts everything into perspective.

It also provides enough breathing space to feel more comfortable and at ease with each other until you can settle on another topic.

3. Things You Want to Try.

If you're familiar with having a bucket list, you might want to disclose some of the things you would write down to create your own. Talking about the things you'd want to try out someday can be a fun and thought-provoking topic. It opens a lot of ideas for discussion and allows both of you to share some of your aspirations – whether it's an extreme sport, crash course, business plan, or travel goals.

Talking about the things that you haven't tried before but you'd love to try out someday, is a good scheme to get to know your date better. You can have a good glimpse of their personality through the things that they'd want to experience in their lifetime.

Additionally, discussing the things you'd want to try may offer you a wonderful opportunity to plan an adventure or pursuit together.

4. How You Spend Your Weekends and Holidays.

Where would you like to spend your holidays?

Another way to keep the conversation going is to share how you usually spend your weekends and holidays. This is an opportunity for you to reveal snippets of your life. You might have weekend or holiday traditions with your family that are worth sharing, or perhaps some regular activities with your friends like surfing, cycling, or trekking.

Talking about how you and your date spend your weekends and holidays can reveal a lot about your individual personalities and partiality for certain things. Aside from sparking each other's interests, it also opens a new path where you can determine if you're compatible with each other (or not).

You may also come across interesting discoveries that you'd love to try out together. And if things fall into place, you may potentially find a good reason to plan for your next date – on the next weekend or holiday.

5. What You Do When You're Stressed or Burned Out.

How do you beat stress? What do you usually do when you're burned out? It would be interesting to know how your date manages stress, weariness, and exhaustion. After all, different people have different coping mechanisms.

For instance, some people visit a certain place that relaxes them, while others prefer to do an activity that calms their nerves. Talking about these things is not just interesting. It also allows both of you to learn from each other.

Be careful not to dig into the details to avoid striking a nerve. Most people prefer not to talk about the things that worries and stresses them. Aside from being too personal, it tends to bend the topic towards the negative side of things. Avoid asking for details, and focus on how your date manages life in general whenever they're stressed or burned out.

Questions such as "what do you usually do when you're tired and stressed out?" or "how do you manage work exhaustion?" are both acceptable. If you want to rephrase the questions, you may simply ask; "how do you usually cope up with work-related stress?" or "how do you take care of yourself when life gets you?" Make sure to maintain a friendly and casual tone.

6. Talk About Your Idea of a Perfect Day.

How would you describe a perfect day? What is your idea of a perfect day? Putting your imagination to good use during your first date creates a dreamy vibe. It can reveal your sensitive side; and just the same, it enables you to take a peek of your date's random imaginings as well.

Asking such insightful questions may help you uncover interesting details about your date, such as the things they love and what makes them happy.

Knowing about your date's idea of a perfect day somehow gives you a better picture of how to plan for your second date, if things go well during your first date. So don't hesitate to open up this topic, especially if you're curious. Sometimes, asking random questions can give you hints on how to make the perfect segue for your next move.

7. Get to Know Each Other's Likes and Dislikes.

A fun way to get to know each other better during your first date is to talk about your likes and dislikes. Think of several categories that would allow both of you to give straightforward and specific responses. Examples of categories are comfort food, alcoholic drinks, non-alcoholic drinks, books, movies, music, and sports.

Both of you should provide two answers, one "like" and one "dislike. You may also take turns in naming the categories to make the casual game more interactive.

This interaction would allow both of you to get to know each other on a deeper level. It is also a fun way to discover what your date particularly likes and dislikes. More importantly, it creates a light and friendly mood to a rather awkward situation since you are actively communicating with each other.

After the date, even if you realize that you are not exactly compatible with each other, you can always look back and remember how fun it was. Who knows? You might eventually end up being good friends after all.

8. Funny Dating Experiences.

First dates are not just all about making good first impressions. They are also great opportunities for you to highlight your sense of humor. While many guys feel uncomfortable talking about their most embarrassing and funny dating experiences, some actually find humor and wit in them.

So if you feel that your date can relate to your humorous side, feel free to share your most hilarious dating encounters. Nothing feels more comforting than having a good laugh with your date.

There's always a lot going on in this world, from the hottest newsmakers to the latest social media trends all the way to the newest happenings in the entertainment industry. Whatever interests you share with your date, try to align them with what's currently happening.

This is a sure way to spark each other's interest and to talk about your individual views about a lot of things. However, try to avoid topics that concern politics, religion, and racial differences. As much as you can, avoid making negative remarks about sensitive topics.

For example, if you're both fascinated with the latest technology, you may discuss the latest developments in this field; if you both love food, you can talk about the latest restaurants that are trending in social media; and if you both have an eye for tasteful art, you may discuss the upcoming art exhibits.

The idea is to focus on the trending topics that you and your date would love to discuss – whether they are current events, or product launch, or hot new artists.

10. Ask Each Other Questions.

The easiest way to initiate a conversation is to ask a question. You may ask questions that start with "what's your opinion about..." or "what do you love most about..." Ask questions that are relevant to your date's current life and status.

It could be about school, job, occasion, or project. Asking questions means that you are interested in knowing more about your date, personal thoughts, and what's going on in their life.

Allow your date to ask you questions as well to keep the conversation interactive. The more you exchange thoughts and ideas with each other, the more comfortable you'll feel.

You may also play with various trivial questions such as; "if you can go out on a date with anyone in this world, who would it be?", "if you can have any superpower, what would you choose and why?", and "if you can be in two places at the same time, what two places would you choose?"

11. Dating and Relationship Goals.

For some people, there's no point in beating around the bush, especially if they are seriously looking for a relationship. If you want to find out if your relationship goals and perspectives about dating are similar to each other, you may divulge on this subject. This is the only way to find out if you are on the same page.

Depending on your objective for going out on a date, you may dig into topics that would allow both of you to voice out your opinions about dating, love, and relationship. This will enable you to understand your date's personal beliefs and values.

You may even end up discovering some similarities and differences between you that are interesting and worth discussing.

Beat the "First Date Anxiety"

It's perfectly normal to feel nervous on your first date. The truth is, you can be honest about it, and there is nothing wrong about admitting that to your date. Sometimes, being open about your fears and worries is the best way to overcome them. Coming into terms with your own weaknesses can help you think clearly and communicate more effectively.

Lastly, try to act more naturally. Don't attempt to go beyond who you really are, because if you and your date are truly compatible and there's undeniable chemistry between you, things would flow effortlessly on your first date.

Rick Harper image

What to Talk About on a First Date

By:

Rick is the founder and main pillar of PSN. He's also a meticulous writer who is passionate about topics that concern love, sex, and relationships. His life experiences enabled him to develop his own personal insights, which also serve as his motivation in his work as the group leader. He loves to travel, make new friends, and take part in extreme outdoor activities. His outgoing and sociable nature makes him an excellent fit in his position. More than the founder of the company, Rick is also the team's confidante and advisor.

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