How to Carry on a Conversation

Carrying on a conversation can be difficult, but it should be a breeze if you are well prepared. Knowing how to navigate the possible lulls will help you achieve a longer conversation and give you the chance to continue talking to that person.

Whether you're having the conversation in person, on the phone, or through text, you should know how to carry the conversation to have the best chatting experience with the other person.

Difficulties When Carrying on a Conversation

You may encounter these difficulties when trying to carry on a conversation, prepare for them and learn how to solve the problem below:

• You run out of topics: If you find yourself running out of topics to talk about, try asking an open-ended question, allowing the other person to have an answer they can elaborate on. Hopefully, this will lead to more conversation happening.
• The conversation is not flowing: If you feel the conversation isn't flowing, step back and try to understand why it's not flowing. Perhaps try to find something you and the other person have in common so you can bond over that, and hopefully, it inspires the conversation to flow more easily.
• The other person has short responses: If the other person has short responses, make sure you are asking questions that allow for longer answers. Perhaps this is just their personality, but asking yes or no questions will not be beneficial. Also, try to elaborate in your own answers if they ask you something as well. This might give them the idea to open up a bit more.

4 Tips for Balancing Talking and Listening

You might be a super chatty person, or you might be the opposite, and you much rather listen than talk. Either way, balancing both of these aspects in a conversation is essential to carrying the conversation well. Follow these 4 tips to balance the conversation:

1. Be conscious. Pay attention to your talking/listening ratio and try to keep it balanced. Don't steal the show by talking the whole time, but also don't stay too quiet. The best way to keep this in check is to share about a topic and ask a question, inviting them to share too. Hopefully, they follow this same pattern with you.
2. Try to talk some, and then listen to some. As mentioned in the previous point, talk for a little bit and listen for a little bit. You will likely be able to tell if you have been talking the whole time. Keep an eye out for the other person's body language. If their body language seems distracted or bored, you have probably been talking for too long and not listening to them enough. If you think they are talking too much and not listening to you enough, chime in where you can. Try directing the conversation towards another topic, and lead the conversation for a bit, they will likely catch on.
3. Don't go on a rant. This is the easiest way to overtalk. Avoid talking endlessly by avoiding ranting about something. Rants also tend to be negative or complaint-related. No one wants to hear you complain about something. Try to keep your conversations positive.
4. Ask follow-up questions, so they know you're listening. If you want to appear interested, ask questions about what the other person is sharing with you, so they know you are paying attention to what they are saying.

Body Language During Conversations

Body language is important while having a conversation because most people will tell how you are feeling based on how you are presenting yourself. If your arms are crossed, and you seem tense, they won't feel like you are being welcomed to have a conversation. Try to maintain relaxed body language, indicating that you feel comfortable having a conversation instead of being closed off to it.

1. Don't cross your arms. Having your arms crossed, unless you're cold, makes you seem upset or closed off.
2. Avoid slouching. It gives a lazy look and will likely make you appear bored or uninterested.
3. Make eye contact. When you don't make eye contact, you seem uninterested, like you don't care, or perhaps want to avoid the conversation. Try making eye contact, so the other person knows you're interested in the conversation.
4. Smile. Smiling is the easiest way to indicate happiness. Smile, so the other person knows you are content with the conversation.

5 Steps to Carry a Conversation

Now that you know some of the inconveniences you may face when trying to carry a conversation, attempt these 5 steps to carry a conversation successfully.

1. Establish if the conversation is worth carrying first and foremost.
2. Talk about interesting topics, not boring things.
3. Ask questions that allow for more elaborate answers, or ask follow-up questions.
4. Find something you have in common to talk about.
5. Take an interest in what the other person is saying.

How to Carry a Conversation in Specific Situations

Here are some suggestions for carrying on a conversation in specific situations.

• Where you work: If you find the conversation is starting to slow down when speaking to a colleague, an easy fix is to bring up something work-related you can both share an opinion about.
• When you're with friends: Sometimes silence can be comfortable amongst friends, but if that's not the case, bring up something random. Even if it's something simple like what you had for breakfast. A change in the conversation will make them have something new to share too. By bringing up something random like breakfast, you may segway into similar, related topics and then continue to segway into other topics, and there you have it!  
• When you're on a date: The best thing you can do when you find the conversation slowing down while on a date is to ask a question. If you're dating, you're getting to know them. Think of something clever you can ask them, and more conversations will flourish.
• While talking to a complete stranger: Similar to when you're on a date, the advantage here is that you don't know this person. You haven't covered many topics with them yet, so you have multiple options for what you can talk about. Ask them a question as well, and be inviting with your body language so you can transition from strangers to friends by continuing the conversation.

Other Things to Keep in Mind to Carry a Conversation:

• Speak with intention. Don't talk to someone just because. Speak with the intention to ensure a good conversation. If you are having a good, interesting conversation, there is no reason for you to have to help carry it on.
• Find things you have in common. You will likely have endless conversations by talking about things you have in common. When you talk about something you like or something you are passionate about, you can go on about that topic forever, and if you and whoever you are talking to also share that, you are sure to have a long conversation. Just remember to not get carried away and balance talking and listening.
• Don't talk about controversial things. This includes politics, religion, or anything you might have a strong opinion about that you may not be willing to compromise on. If you can't be respectful if someone else has a different belief or opinion than you, avoid that topic. What will likely happen if those topics are not avoided is that not only will the conversation slow down, but it could even come to an end or make someone feel uncomfortable.

How to Carry on a Conversation Online/Via Text

Carrying a conversation online can be tricky, find out how to do it successfully below.

• Stay focused. Make sure you focus on the conversation and not get distracted by other things. Even though you can easily walk away from the conversation at any point, if you want to have a conversation that flows, try to avoid getting distracted and give the other person your complete attention.
• Don't read their message and then not answer. If you do this, they will think you're not interested in answering. They might also think that the conversation you are having with them is not important, and no one wants to feel like they're not important. If you can't answer right away, simply don't open their message until you give them your full attention.
• Ask questions. Texting or messaging someone online requires many of the same basic things as a conversation in person. If you see that the conversation is slowing down, ask a question to keep it going.

Know When to Stop Carrying a Conversation

Although the goal is to know how to carry a conversation, sometimes it's not worth it. Know when it's time to let the conversation go.

If You Are Communicating Through a Message

• If they don't answer quickly, it might not be a sign they aren't interested, and they could just be busy. However, if they really aren't doing anything and they take their time to answer, they're probably not interested in talking to you. Don't waste your time or energy in keeping a conversation with them.
• If they open your message and never reply, they obviously don't care about maintaining a conversation with you.

If You Are Communicating in Person

• If they look uninterested or uncomfortable based on their body language, they probably are. There is no point in conversing with someone who doesn't seem interested or is expressing they are uncomfortable speaking to you.
• If all they do is talk about themselves or don't let you get a word in, it might be time to end the conversation. Balance is important, keep this in mind.
• If they are rude, speak badly about others, or don't think before they speak, you likely don't want to continue talking to this person. Avoid associating yourself with people like this, and they will not provide positive conversations.

Concluding How to Carry on a Conversation

Knowing how to carry a conversation can be challenging. Many people struggle with this, but after reading all the tips and tricks provided, you will be a pro in no time. The most important things to keep in mind are having positive body language, balancing the time you spend talking and listening, and engaging in interesting topics or asking open-ended questions so the conversation can keep going. Remember, sometimes things don't go exactly how we would like them to, and it's okay if you feel the need to end the conversation instead.