Feeling secure in your decision to start a relationship with someone you like is important. When you decide to make it official, it's a significant step; reversing that decision isn't as simple as taking a step back. It often means the end of the relationship if you realize it was a mistake. To guide you through this important decision, we've compiled a list of considerations to go through before committing to a relationship.
Understand the difference between casual dating and exclusive commitment is key. Reflect on the questions we've listed below to test your readiness for a relationship. By doing so, you'll better understand when the time is right to commit to a relationship.
Difference Between Dating and Being Exclusive
Before considering a commitment, it's essential to understand the difference between dating and being exclusive. These two concepts, if not clear, lead to misunderstandings. Dating involves spending time with someone you like and going on dates to learn about each other.
While dating, it's acceptable to see other people unless you've agreed otherwise. Some prefer to date one person at a time, even without an explicit commitment, but others do not share this approach. Without clear communication, assumptions can lead to confusion.
Being exclusive, on the other hand, means you've decided to date only each other. It's a phase where you're off dating apps and focused on one person, yet you're not quite ready to label it as a formal relationship.
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Making a Relationship Official
How long have you been dating?
Before you commit to a relationship, consider the amount of time you've been with this person and whether you've had the chance to build a true connection. If it's only been a couple of weeks, it might be too soon to think about starting a relationship. However, this can vary depending on feelings and experiences.
Are you exclusive?
Asking yourself if you are exclusive is important because if you are, it likely means you're ready to commit to the relationship. Exclusivity can be influenced by many factors, some become exclusive as it gives them a sense of security about their trajectory towards a relationship, while others may find that exclusivity enhances trust in the relationship.
Being exclusive isn't mandatory for your relationship to progress, but it's definitely a solid sign that you are on the path toward a formal relationship.
How long have you both been single?
The answer to this question can affect how long you should be dating the person you like before jumping into a relationship. When you've just come out of a relationship, depending on how serious it was, there are habits you might need to unlearn and things you may need more time to move on from.
It's commonly recommended to wait at least 3+ months after ending a long-term relationship (1+ years) before considering entering a new one. If you were in a short-term relationship (less than a year), waiting at least 1 month can be beneficial. This gives you time to move on and really be ready to give your all to this new person.
Are there kids or pets involved?
Kids and pets are very different, but they both require a lot of time and attention, and you need to be comfortable with the idea of them possibly being in your life. When you're in a relationship with someone, these are factors that affect the time you spend together, and kids especially will influence how you date.
If you or the person you're dating have kids, it's likely that the dating phase will last longer because you want to be sure that the relationship can provide the stability they need.
How often do you go on dates?
The frequency of your dates can influence how long you date before deciding to be in a relationship. Some people hit it off right away, go on dates every other day, and find themselves ready to commit after just a month because they've had enough time to really get to know the other person.
Others might not have as much free time and can only go on dates during weekends, so it might take longer for them to reach the same level of familiarity.
Have you been to their place?
Before committing to a relationship, it's significant to know how this person lives. Being in a relationship means you can see a future with them, which often includes living together eventually. It's beneficial to know how they maintain their living space, like how organized and clean they are.
You'll likely visit their place in the first month of dating, but if it takes longer, it's worth waiting to see before you commit to a relationship.
Are you on the same page?
Before you commit to a relationship with this person, make sure you are on the same page. The dating phase is meant to help you really get to know that person and figure out if your goals align. Don't rush through the dating phase if you haven't had these conversations. Take your time and make sure this is something you both want to commit to.
Is there good communication?
For some people, it can take time to learn how to communicate effectively, while others might find it comes more naturally. Typically, most people develop a good communication rhythm within the first 2-3 weeks of dating, so you might want to wait at least a few weeks before deciding to enter into a relationship.
Do you spend a lot of time together?
Circumstances vary for each couple. If you're seeing each other every day, or talking on the phone daily, you're likely to form a stronger connection quickly. Therefore, the dating period may be shorter, and you might be ready to commit to a relationship sooner.
But if you only see or talk to each other a couple of times a week, it will probably take longer, maybe a couple of months, before you're ready to think about committing to a relationship.
Can you imagine a future with them?
This thought will naturally come to you, perhaps a month or a few months into dating. When you start to picture a future together, that's a good sign you may be ready to commit to a relationship.
5 Signs You Should Make Your Relationship Official
1. You've met each other's inner circle.
It's important to see how the person you're dating gets along with your closest friends, and if you're close to your family, with them as well. If everything goes well and they get along, it's likely they'll start building their own friendships. If the person that you're dating brings you to their circle of close friends and family, it's a good sign that they see a future with you.
2. You've traveled together.
Traveling together doesn't have to happen immediately, and for some, it might take a while. It's not necessary to travel together to be ready for a relationship, but if you have, it often means you're ready to commit. Travel pushes you to spend significant time with each other, revealing true personalities and habits. It's a bonding experience that can strengthen the connection and signify that you might be ready for the next step.
3. You've gone through arguments.
Having at least one argument before making your relationship official is useful. Inevitably, disagreements occur in any relationship, and it's beneficial to know how you both manage conflict. Often, you'll face this situation within the first month of dating.
4. You want to continue spending time together.
If you want to continue to spend time together, you're probably ready to commit to a relationship. Make sure at least a few weeks go by, and remember the initial feelings you have for that person can change as you get to know them more and more. But if you're always looking forward to seeing them, you're probably ready to take the next step.
5. You've accidentally called them your gf/bf.
This is the most obvious sign that you're ready to commit to a relationship with them. For example, if you were introducing them to someone and you called them your girlfriend or boyfriend, it's because it's on your mind and your heart.
So, how long should you wait before committing to a relationship? The reality is that there is no right answer. For some people, it will be 1 month; for others, it will be 3 months, but usually, it's somewhere in between 1-3 months. Based on how you answer the questions above, you'll be able to figure out when it's time to commit to a relationship.
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